We'll Start with the End
by FluffySmut
Summary: Phan: getting milkshakes goes horribly wrong and new feelings are realized... amazingphil X danisnotonfire.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, readers! This is my first fanfiction, so please please please rate and review so I know what to do next time (if there is a next time). I hope you like it!**

_**Phan: getting milkshakes goes horribly wrong and new feelings are realized.**_

"Where to begin? We'll start with the end."

Phil's POV:

The day that Dan and I realized that we were meant to be more than friends was one of the worst days of my life. I love Dan, and I always will, but I still hold that there was no need for him to nearly die to tell me how he felt about me.

Before the accident happened I knew that I wasn't entirely straight. In the past I dated both men and women, never really minding gender. My fluid sexuality never came as a harsh realization for me, because I had always known.

What did come as a shock, however, was realizing that Dan was gay.

Okay, yes, I'll admit, I have had a crush on him ever since I have known him. But, it was one of those crushes that, while burning and passionate, never really had any reason to surface in my friendship with him. It's sort of like when one applies to college and other people ask you what your top choice is. It'd obviously be the hardest school you're applying to, but your answer is the one that you expect to get into, because you can't imagine getting into the reach school at all; it seems fake. Dating or kissing or touching Dan was too much of an impossibility for me to feel the need to express my feelings. Too much was at stake for a sure rejection, even if he didn't hit me or move out or become offended. It would still have been awkward.

Oh, yeah. Dan didn't know that I was bisexual. Everyone that I had grown up with had known, it was just commonly accepted. Yeah, I got bullied a bit, but that was okay. I could take it. Moving away and going to college was weird, because I sort of forgot that people didn't know that about me, and it never came up between Dan and I. I wish it had earlier.

So. The day. THE day. My anniversary. My dreams realized. My life shattered. All on the same day.

Dan and I were on our way to go get ShakeAway. We walking to the nearest shop, and we came to a crosswalk.

Dan turned to me and said, "Hey, Phil! I bet I can totally beat you across the street!"

A few things are wrong about this. First, Dan is being overly silly (and freakishly adorable) and that's out of place. I've only seen him get giddy with is girlfriends. Odd. Second, I do not necessarily want to go running about. Who wants their crush to see them hot and panting after running a whole 20 feet? Third, I didn't want to mess up my hair any more than it probably already was.

Even after all of this went through my head I simply laughed and agreed, because I can't say no to him. It's really a problem.

If only he hadn't left a few seconds early to get a head start.


	2. Chapter 2

**If I write another fanfiction I'll change the set up so it isn't such a give-away at the beginning, but I'll stick with it for now.**

Dan's POV:

Phil is the most ridiculous thing. Why couldn't he have told me that he was bisexual sooner? I had to sit there every day while we played video games and watched movies and TV and talked and got dinner and steal glances when he wasn't looking and lie to myself and say, "Maybe one day," in my head, while I was sure there was no way he would love me as much as I love him.

I know that I seem the less emotional of the two of us, but that's because I don't want people thinking that I'm weak or vulnerable. Humor is most definitely my defense mechanism, as I am a really a 13 year old girl inside. As evidenced by my stupid decision to challenge Phil to a race to cross a street.

As much as I love that man, he always seems to blame me for choosing to leave a few seconds earlier. Really, though, the guy that decided to speed up at the last second to beat the light could have been in less of a hurry. Broken ribs are no fun. However, the wait and even the injuries after the car hit me are well worth being able to call Phil my boyfriend.

I thought it would be funny to make sure I beat him, so I watched the light, and when it was about to turn to let us cross, I started running, not thinking that someone would speed through at the last second. I was already about half way across, and out of the corner of my eye I see a bigger-than-average-for-Europe car speeding towards me, and I have no time to react or get out of the way.

The woman driving was about 24. Phil later spoke with her while I was in the hospital. Apparently she was on her way to catch a movie with a new date and she was running late. She was very appologetic and felt so badly for giving me three broken ribs and a concussion.

That was the part that scared everyone. The concussion. When the car hit me I flew back and hit my head on the ground, apparently pretty hard. I was unconscious when Phil ran to me and stayed that way until the ambulance came. All I remember is seeing the car and screaming "Phil!"

I wanted to tell him not to run after me to beat me, in case he didn't see the car. In that moment, I didn't really care if the car hit me or not, but I did need to protect Phil. Thankfully he was slower than me and he wasn't and idiot and decided to actually wait for the light to tell him to go. Always playing by the rules, that one.

Anyways, when I was in the ambulance I think I must have been at least vaguely aware of things. Maybe I was just dreaming. I felt someone holding my hand, and I guess my mind filled it in that it was Phil. I was surprised. He hadn't been too overly affectionate in the past. Well there was the first Phil Is not on Fire video where he tackled me, but after that there wasn't too much. I always assumed that the Phan thing was getting to him, because he seemed a little standoffish towards me sometimes.

Little did I know that his aversion to touching me stemmed from his fear that I would find out he was bisexual and he had a crush on me. Stupid Phil.

The ride in the ambulance led to the hospital. I stayed in the hospital that night and left the next evening. Still way too long, in my opinion. However, it was wonderful to wake up to a sleeping Phil in the chair next to my bed. I woke up around 3 am that night, so he must have just stayed. I'm sure the nurses and doctors couldn't shoo him away when visiting hours were over; he's too adorable. His face while he was sleeping in that chair was pained, though. It looked like even though he was sleeping he was still thinking about what had happened to me. What I had done. I wanted to leap out of my bed and kiss him and tell him I was alright and that he could stop worrying, but I was connected via tubes to the wall behind me, and all I could do was wake him up and wait for a reaction.

"Phil?"

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but him leaping out of his chair and kissing me was far from what I thought would happen. I was pleasantly surprised.

**I don't know how frequently I will be able to update this, and I don't know how long it will be, but I promise not to drop it! It will have an ending eventually. I also am not sure how smutty it will get. Rating change in the future is possible. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry that it has been a while! Here's the third chapter!**

Phil's POV:

Sitting in that chair in that hospital waiting for that stupid beautiful boy to wake up is one of the most stressful and terrifying times in my life. What would I do if it turned out that he had severe brain damage and had to be on life support? What would I do if he never woke up? What would I do if he woke up and didn't remember me or couldn't talk or was heavily impaired?

In all honestly, I would have either intentionally killed myself or have just drunk myself to death.

The nurses and even the doctors tried to get me to leave, but I was half incoherent and just kind of stayed put and they left me out of pity.

Fortunately, that beautiful boy woke up. Unfortunately he decided to do it during the single hour that I chose to sleep before sitting there and obsessively watching him again. I wish it had been more obvious that I loved him, not just that I wanted to snog him senseless. Not that I didn't want to do that, too, but if he had woken up while I was holding his hand and anxiously awaiting his return to consciousness, then it might have been more obvious how deeply I care for him.

Dan woke up. I didn't notice. Dan said my name. I didn't think it was real.

There was a split second after Dan said my name where I woke up and just stared at him. He WAS awake. He HAD said my name. I wasn't dreaming!

I also wasn't thinking clearly. The first thing that I thought was, "Oh, thank god. Couldn't have gone on without him," then, "I love him," then I stopped thinking. Before I was totally aware of what I was doing I was on top of Dan on the hospital bed, kissing him. He would later inform me that I looked him in the eyes, then looked at his lips, then jumped up and kissed him. Not too much to decipher, other than that had obviously been pent up for a while.

When I finally realized what I was doing I froze. How could I have kissed Dan? How could I have climbed into bed with him? Why am I on top of Dan? Most importantly:

Why is Dan kissing me back?

I honestly thought this man liked women, judging by how many he has brought home or gone out to meet. I never even thought that he was remotely interested in men, let alone me.

He was kissing me back, though. Is he dreaming? Does he think this isn't real or that I'm some girl? I wasn't really in a position to just kinda stop and chat for a bit with him, but I had to know. I got up and sat next to him on the bed. We didn't say anything for a few minutes, and I realized that I was holding his hand.

"I am happy you're not dead."

Oh my god. I can't believe I said that. Biggest facepalm ever. I am so awkward. Not exactly the romantic serenade that I wanted. I guess his, "Haha, I gathered," was to be expected though.

"I love you," was all that I could say in response. Looking back, that wasn't the best time, nor the most coherent response to the conversation, but hey, it was spontaneous.

Now I just had to wait for the rejection.

**Please tell me what you think! Thanks! **

**More to come soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dan's POV:

It's an odd thing that the most passionate and romantic kiss that I've had was in a hospital bed. Then again, hospitals dictate the rest of our lives, like our birth and death, so I suppose it makes sense that one of the biggest events in my life would happen there as well.

I felt badly for waking Phil up when he opened his eyes. They were bloodshot and very droopy, as if he hadn't slept since we got to the hospital.

His first expression was of disbelief. Like waking up from a dream and seeing it in front of you. It was a mix of caution, confusion, and I could have sworn that I saw a glint of happiness.

When the first confusions of sleep wore off, he realized that I was awake and I was okay. That was when he sat up straight in his chair and stared at my eyes, then at my lips, then practically leaped onto my bed and kissed me. It was the most severe and wonderful kiss that I have ever had. In one action he expressed his joy that I was okay, his repressed emotions regarding me, his surprise that I was reciprocating, his desperation for me not to throw him off of me, and, ultimately, his love for me.

He's still embarrassed that he responded in such a lustful way, in a hospital, no less, but I've told him many times that I could tell that it was much more than arousal that drove our first kiss.

After a while of perfect kissing, he seemed to come back into his own mind and realized his surroundings and actions. So, like the perfectly awkward guy that he is, he said, "I am happy you're not dead." And, in turn, just like the imperfect twat that I am, responded, "I gathered."

What kind of response is that? It sounded like I was completely emotionless about the kiss that I had been waiting and hoping for for so long. I'm an idiot.

Regardless of my idiocy, Phil seemed to still be rather lost, but he said those three words that tend to elicit symptoms of breathlessness and butterflies. Especially if you've been dying to say them every single time you see the person that's just told you that they love you.

However, even in the best of situations, saying nothing after the first confession of love must be the scariest thing for the person baring their soul to their beloved. So it was literally the worst time for me not be able to find words to express my joy and mutual feeling.

I just stared at the hand that was holding mine. I was thinking about all the times that Phil had said something utterly adorable and I found myself barely keeping my composure, or the times that Phil had done something that made me want to grab him by the collar and snog him senseless, or when we were filming the truth or dare videos and I had secretly wished he'd pick one of the ones that dared us to kiss.

I'm pretty sure there was a good minute or two of silence where I was just sitting there, staring at Phil's hand in mine, and thinking about how much I loved that boy. That, however, may not have been how it seemed to Phil.

I felt his hand tense up after about twenty seconds, as if I was going to hit him or push him off of the bed. When I finally came out of my thoughts, I looked up at Phil's face, and his eyes were closed. It looked as if he were bracing to get hit by a bus.

I automatically realized the stress I must have just caused him, and I immeadiately kissed him on the cheek, grabbed his head, turned it towards mine, waited for his eyes to open, and said, for the first time,

"I love you, too."

Of course, I'm incapable of being a flawless romantic, so that was followed up with,

"Wait, what the hell? You're bisexual? You like me? What!"


	5. Chapter 5

Phil's POV:

Kiss. Amazing. Dan. Awake. Too much time. He hates me. Love?

My mental capacity seemed to be hindered, and I hadn't even been hit by a car. My mind short-circuited when I kissed Dan on the hospital bed. I told him how I felt about him, and he took years to respond. Okay, maybe not years, but it seemed like an eternity to me at the time.

In the interim between confessing our love, a million different outcomes and possibilities ran through my mind. Dan could really do or say anything at this point, and I was hoping for something closer to him throwing me on the hospital bed and having me right there rather than him slapping me and telling me to leave the room because I was disgusting. However, my mind, disregarding the fact that I'd already kissed him and avoided a slap, did not seem to favor the more favorable options. It dwelled on the ones in which I got hurt, and I think my face started to show it.

My hellish imagination overtook my ability to perceive reality for a few moments, and my face grimaced and fell, as if I was preparing to receive news of my entire family's death or get shot in the head. Thankfully, neither of those things happened. I felt a tug on my chin as Dan brought my face up and towards him. "This is it. He's gonna tell me to move out," I thought to myself as I came back to the present.

"I love you too." Heart beat stops. Eyes widen. Involuntary smile. Brain processing. Regretting not acting on this sooner.

"Wait, what the hell? You're bisexual? You like me? What!"

This exclamation/question/demand took me out of my bunny-and-flower filled love-induced imagination and I realized that what I had done really was out of character for me and was not easily explained.

"Haha...yeah, I'm bi. I've known for a long time, but when I moved I didn't tell anyone because I was sick of the judgement. I figured it didn't matter, but then I realized that I wasn't interested in anyone but you. I had no reason or ability to date anyone, so I just...didn't...as I said, I am in love with you." Tick. Beep. Heartbeat. Tock. "Also, I'm sorry that this was so...abrupt. I'm also sorry that I'm, um, on you. Your broken ribs must not be too happy."

"They're fine," he said as he winced, breathed out a string of profanities, and sat up a tiny bit. "What's important is...this. Just this. I love you too. The girls were a distraction. It's been agonizing since we met. I was so worried about what you'd think of me. Thanks for telling me about how you feel sooner, jerk."

Dan smirked as I leaned in closer to capture his lips again. We happily snogged and chat as the nurses and doctors periodically came in and checked on Dan and okayed him to leave. Once we got back to our flat, we moved some of Dan's stuff into my room and decided to eat dinner and go to bed early. We may have accidentally gotten distracted and burnt the pizza we had in the oven due to being, ahem, otherwise occupied, but everything since then has been perfect. He's perfect.


End file.
